Many Things Are Weighing Heavy on My Mind Tonight....

Hello friends, I have some terrible news this is my final blog ever.  I figured I might as well quit while I'm ahead.  APRIL FOOLS!  I know all of my five readers just had a mild heart attack.  Do not worry I will never stop blogging, it's my new obsession and I believe it has some therapeutic benefits as well (not that I need therapy I'm not that crazy).  I have so much on my mind tonight.  First of all it's April Fools Day, second it was the Philadelphia Phillies home opener today, we won obviously.  Third, I do not have any good stories from last night out in Manayunk except the overload of guidos that were at Mad River.  Fourth, it's 11:30 on a Friday night and I'm blogging alone at my parent's house.  I could be doing something on this Friday, there's pretty much a line of men outside of my door just waiting to ask me out, I mean look at me.  But I decided I should stay in because I have a seven year old son that I've been neglecting. 

This is my son Jack Alejandro.  I know what you're thinking, the resemblance is uncanny.  We get that a lot believe me.

Anyway it's April Fools Day I really do not have that much to say about it but don't worry next week I will because I'm getting someone good.  Last night I was out at my spot (Mad River) and the clock struck 12:00 and you would have thought it was New Year's Eve the way I was screaming.  I've never been so excited for April Fools Day! 

On to the most important thing of the day: The Philadelphia Phillies.

"Over the next 6 months Philadelphia will be baseball central... The Phillies will get you through every small-talk situation in your life... On 81 afternoons & evenings, Citizens Bank Park will be the coolest place in the city to be." 

I stole this quote from some girls facebook status, but I really do love it.  It is the absolute truth.  If you are not from Philadelphia or Jersey (all of you are I'm pretty sure since I only have five readers) then you might not understand how big of a deal the Phillies are.  Everyone tailgates and gets absolutely hammered.  For my 21st birthday me and three of my friends went to the Phillies game, it was a shit show.  I cannot wait to be on broad street this October for the parade, after we win the world series.  I was watching the post-game show on T.V. and saw everyone coming out of the stadium I literally felt a feeling of depression.  I wish I was kidding about this but I'm so serious.

Here's a picture of me at the parade two years ago.  I flipped a car in South Philly right after they won, you probably heard about it in the news.

So the guidos at Mad River?  I was absolutely stone cold shocked when I walked in and saw the whole cast of Jersey Shore "dancing" at Mad River.  I can't believe grown men "dance" the way they do, have you ever seen guidos "dance?"  I thought I was in a twilight zone or having a seizure.  So these guidos invade Mad River and only approach the fat women in skirts that are too tight and way too short.  I mean I know guidos won't approach me first of all I'm blonde with green eyes not one thing about me looks Italian and second of all I'm way out of their league.  I'm not complaining about me not attracting guidos I am thanking the good Lord, because they are all toolbags.  So Mikki and I are jamming out to this band that was there, they were alright, I've had better but whatever and Mikki is trying so desperately to get on stage.  The lead singer was literally picking the sluttiest girls to get on stage.  The way these sluts were dancing in their skirts from Baby Gap was absolutely horrifying, I swear I saw some girls uterus.  I get it guys like sluts, but come on he should have picked Mikki to get on stage, so I could have laughed at her (she can't dance).  So its 2:00 AM and the lights come on and we're still raging, yes we're "those people" and proud of it.  We leave and go to the pizza place across the street and eat two pies, and somehow left a $20.00 tip, how do such things happen?  Foreigners, they act like they can't speak English and steal your money and then accuse you of being regulars.  Excuse me? Regulars?  I've been in your establishment a grand total of three times and I only remember one of the times.  Even if I was a regular why would I ever tip someone $20.00 on a $35.00 bill?  I'm being a little dramatic but this guy really scammed us.  We made a group decision to boycott this pizza place from now on!

This blog isn't as good as my other ones, I can't always produce fire.  I am only human.  This Friday night is pretty dull for me, I think I've been on StumbleUpon for five hours tonight (I'm assuming everyone knows what StumbleUpon is).  I just can't get enough.  I wish I had a better story from last night, I just couldn't seem to get drunk enough.  I could tell the story from Saint Patrick's Day but I'm still searching for my dignity, once I find it I will share that story with all of you!  Bye for now.